One of the most important characteristics of human beings is our ability to adapt. For many years, this has allowed us to explore the harshest areas of the planet and even go to the moon. This great skill allows us to feel comfortable even in the worst situations. Its negative side is precisely that, it enables us to feel comfortable in toxic relationships, in a job we hate, in debt and struggling to pay our bills—essentially, enduring a life of suffering.
One of the most challenging aspects of my job is to observe from the outside how people are suffering, often to the point of having nervous tics and being on the verge of an emotional breakdown, and yet they decide to stay there.
The good news is that just as you got yourself into this situation, you have the power to get out of it and change your life to one that excites you to live.
But why do we stay there?
Out of fear of facing those demons, fear of what will come after we’ve freed ourselves, but most of all, because we’ve actually grown accustomed to complaining about life, and even though we deny it, that’s where we feel comfortable.
I’ve even come across people who use their misfortunes to gain the attention of others.
Do you remember that friend to whom everything happens?
The one who's always sick or experiences all the calamities in the world?
The one who’s always sick or experiences all the calamities in the world? The one who calls you always, and after talking with her, you end up with a very negative feeling about life. In my opinion, many times, it’s a behavior they learned to get attention and thus feel that they’re important to someone. It’s their way of feeling «loved.»
I used to have some of those people in my life, but since the moment I decided that circumstances don’t determine my happiness and I started taking control of my life, they have gone away. Why? Simple, when they talked to me, they no longer found someone who, like before, reinforced their perception that everything is bad. Instead, they found someone who lives with optimism and approaches life with passion—quite the opposite of being a victim.
¿How to break this vicious cycle?
First, accept that your current situation is your responsibility and no one else’s. It’s the result of all the decisions you’ve made and the things you did or didn’t do, solely by you.
The good news is that just as you got yourself into this situation, you have the power to get out of it and change your life to one that excites you to live.
Think about this, it takes you the same amount of time to complain about everything and blame others as it does to sit down and set your goals, make an action plan, and work towards them. The big difference is that by taking action, you’ll feel empowered as you achieve your goals and you’ll experience the passion of living a purposeful life.
Will problems end and everything become perfect? No, of course not. You might even have more problems. Just remember that each difficulty is an opportunity to use your full capacity to solve it and learn from it. The difference is that now you have a mission to fulfill, and every complication is just one more step that brings you closer to it.
To step out of your comfort zone, you must first change your perspective, become the architect of the life you want to enjoy, and start doing it today.
